Wednesday, April 30, 2008

‘Nuff Said

Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Kowloon

There’s an entrepreneur in every crowd.

Temple Street Night Market

Wednesday night
April 30, 2008
Kowloon

This was it—the much talked about Temple Street that gets swinging after 4:00 p.m. each day, running until either 11:00 p.m. or the customers dry up. Granted, the crowded stalls were filled mostly with low quality schlock, but a little digging could turn up a treasure or two (Sarah found a stack of knock off Polo shirts for her husband that really were attractive).

The people watching, though.... Now there’s the real show. Verrrry colorful stuff.

Bird Feet and Beer

Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Kowloon

You know you aren’t at Denny’s when the specialty of the house is Chicken Feet, Duck Tongue, and Fish Intestines.

I opted for a slightly more mundane path Wednesday night, ordering stir fried chicken with almonds and a Tsingtao (beer, that is...pronounced ching-dow). And yes, it was terrific.

For a restaurant the size of my living room, lit by flickering fluorescent lights and with questionable housekeeping standards, there was no question the food would be good. Every chair was filled with locals. The 8-top table next to ours had ten senior-aged folks squeezed around it, passing dishes, sipping beer, and laughing as only life long friends do. One gentleman facing me was missing his top four center teeth. Every time he laughed, I smiled. As simple as it sounds, there’s something kind of reassuring about seeing life lived without hang-ups or vanity.

Old Kowloon

Wednesday night, April 30, 2008
Kowloon

From the modern wonders of the Ngong Ping 360 on our return to the base of the mountain, we jumped on the MTR and headed for old Kowloon, in search of the Temple Street Night Market. The moment we surfaced from the subway tunnels, I knew we were seeing the real deal—not an American in sight. Between the cacophony of street life, busses spewing fumes, and the chatter of languages foreign to my ears, this felt like a jump back in time. Pretty cool.

Po Lin Monastery

Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tian Tan / Lantau Island

Aware that the cable cars closed at 6:00, and that we were already staring at 5:15, the three of us hotfooted it through the twisting turning paths from the base of the Buddha to Po Lin Monastery, tucked back in the trees, away from the world. Before we could see the buildings, we could already smell the heady sandlewood incense burning in huge bowls all around. Between the smoke, the fragrance, and the dense trees, you truly felt a sense of mystery about the place.

Upon finding the buildings, however, you’re met with a burst of intense color—both in the buildings and the flowers. Vibrant reds, oranges, golds, and blues seem to burst from everywhere while still remaining dignified and solemn. It’s the kind of technicolor balancing act that only an ancient civilization (pre-Disney) could pull off.

BBF: Big Buddha Forever

Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tian Tan / Lantau Island

Here he is—the big guy himself. The climb to get there is a killer; even the most fit were stopping to wheeze and gasp. It’s worth it, though; pictures don’t do justice to the sheer magnitude of this shrine.

Tian Tan winks at my next destination via a duplication of the Alter of Heaven from Beijing’s Temple of Heaven (the original Tian Tan) at the foot of the (killer) stairs. A couple of other things set this Buddha apart from the rest; firstly, he faces north, not south, which is odd for a Buddhist shrine. Secondly, he’s the largest outdoor seated Buddha in the world.

It wasn’t lost on me that the guy with the biggest love handles on earth sits at the top of a giant Stairmaster. Who knew?

Look Again

Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tian Tan / Lantau Island

Worth a second glance, and a smile. I’ll say it again: “Toto, we’re not in Kansas anymore.”

Tian Tan

Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tian Tan / Lantau Island

Tian Tan, for those of you who haven’t heard of it (like me, a month ago), is a village on Lantau Island, just off the Hong Kong coast. Its original claim to fame is the remote Po Lin Buddhist Monestary, then since 1990, the world’s largest outdoor seated Buddha. Once you survive the zillion step climb to the top of the shrine, the views are truly breathtaking (assuming you’ve still got some breath left). Sarah, Isaac and I got there just as a cloud bank was rolling in...beneath us. Pretty awesome sight.

Since the Ngong Ping 360 came along, however, the once serene village at the base of the Buddha peak has become home to not only our rotund friend, but an outdoor mall of Disney-like restaurants, gift shops, and Starbucks. One Italian eatery went so far as to paint a floor to ceiling mural of Saint Peter’s and the Vatican on the front of the restaurant.

A Catholic cathedral at the foot of Tian Tan’s Buddha? Sometimes, moving forward truly equates to two steps back.

Ngong Ping 360

Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Lantau Island

To reach the Big Buddha, you start with a cable car ride. Not just any cable car ride; this is the Ngong Ping 360, a sky-high (and I mean that literally) journey from Tung Chung, crossing Tung Chung Bay, then up and over the peaks to North Lantau, suspended on a two-way loop from sea level to mountaintop.

The ride takes about a half hour, floating over a dense canopy of trees and foliage that could only exist in such a tropical place. It runs 3.5 miles, with panoramic views of the South China Sea, Hong Kong International Airport (where you look DOWN on the airplanes taking off), and at the very top, your first glimpse of the Big Buddha.

I’m not sure how high off the ground this is, but trust me—it ain’t like any cable car or ski gondola I’ve ever seen. This baby has you up in the clouds. Definitely not for the faint of heart.

The First Purchase

Wednesday
April 30 2008
Hong Kong

A few years ago, Mom told me that someone had told her it’s good fortune (or good taste, can’t recall which) to have an item of Chinese design in each room. If that’s true, my bedroom just inherited good fortune.

Simmer down, you dirty little minds out there...no hidden meaning behind the statement.

You’re looking at a photo of legitimate hand made Cloisonne, made by a company Trip knows well, based just outside of Beijing. It’s stunning in person, and incredibly well priced, given the discount I was offered in their booth at the Hong Kong Gift show. The piece won’t arrive in Minneapolis for a couple of months due to shipping, but oh, it’s worth the wait.

According to Conny (the vendor), the little squiggle lines are hand laid copper wire. Enamel is then painted in, layer by layer, until the color and finish is complete. Last step is hand polishing to give it the soft glow of real Cloisonne.

Photos don’t do this justice; it’s just about the prettiest piece I’ve ever seen (in addition to the tall floor vase with red blossoms, which was beyond my price range). Big thanks to Sarah for coming along as I returned to the booth for these photos.

Kanice the Great

Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Hong Kong

Here she is, everyone—the most wonderful contact you could ask for when visiting a foreign city. Kanice Ho first sent me an email introducing herself as my “go to” person a few weeks ago. Since then, she’s been an invaluable resource, both in preparing for the trip and in making things run like clockwork once we hit the ground.

She’s a bundle of energy and enthusiasm...with a quick sense of humor on the side. What a Godsend.

Journalists’ Breakfast

Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Hong Kong

The began with the Overseas Journalists’ Breakfast, hosted by the Trade Development Council to thank the foreign press and a handful of select vendors for attending the show. I was seated with Wojciech Pawlowski (the first Polish exhibitor to appear in Hong Kong, owner of Badge4U) and the Honorable Jeffrey Kin-fung Lam, Legislative Council. The latter is a delightful gentleman, and the honored guest at nearly every function we’ve attended.

Got to mix and mingle with some pretty interesting folks, including the guys who came up with USB People—think: Lego figure meets USB flash drive. There are more cool toys at this show than in Santa’s workshop all year long.

Hot Air

Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Hong Kong

Lesson 1
Hotel blow dryers have two settings in Asia:
  • Gentle breeze/warm
  • Gentle breeze/searing hot
Lesson 2
It’s best to learn to live with wavy hair not blown straight each day.

Never Cross a Cabbie in the Kong

Tuesday, April 29, 2008
11:55 p.m.
Hong Kong

Never get in an argument with a Chinese taxi driver unless (a) you’re really confident of your position, (b) you’re really confident you can get to the hotel entry hall without him catching you, and (c) you have a really good relationship with the hotel doorman.

Suffice it to say, I won. And I got a receipt. And I realized mid-way through the whole thing that this was probably not the battle to pick in a foreign country, even if the little bugger did drive me from here and back. Lesson learned.

Trip, Curtis, and a Visit to the Other Side

Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Hong Kong

After the seminar, Trip and Curtis (his trusty side kick at Wellspring and Sultan of All Things Supply Side) invited me to walk the show with them, checking out product, design ideas, and vendors they worked with. If not for a solemn pinky swear that everything seen/discussed/smelled/felt/injested was top secret, I’d tell you all sorts of cool things you’d love to hear.

But alas, I can’t. Gotta keep the good stuff under wraps so they can wow you with it later.

Without question, that was some of the most fun I’ve had on the show floor. Seeing the world through the eyes of a vendor gives you a whole new appreciation for where things come from. These two are creative souls who truly enjoy everyone around them (and visa versa). It was a kick—and a privilege—getting to walk the show with them.

Did drinks with both at their hotel later on; dinner with Trip after that. My creative wheels are spinning now, boys. ‘Nuff said, or we’ve have to hurt someone’s pinky.

The Big Moment

Tuesday, May 28, 2008
Hong Kong

This is it—the whole reason I’m here. The “Latest Marketing Trends In the Gift Industry” seminar, of which I’m part five (they intentionally leave the UK and US for last, since everyone leaves after those two slots).

All in all, I’m really happy with my segment. Earlier on, there was a hiccup in the projector that literally derailed the video for Ryoko Mikami, the Japanese journalist participating. Sarah, being a true trooper, volunteered to step in since Ryoko’s presentation hinged on visuals. She was brilliant, in spite of engineers swarming around the podium and behind her perch on the mid-stage sofa chair. Not sure how many speakers could have pulled that off, let alone made it look so easy.

Since the audience had been sitting for nearly two hours by the time my segment began, I started out by asking them to participate in a little “move to the left, move to the right” diddy concocted during my own seventh inning squirm a half hour earlier. Turns out that’s all it took to light up the room; in the words of an attendee later on, “You were quintessentially American...it was great.”

Yup. I’m a happy camper.

(Photo credit: Hong Kong Trade Development Council)

It’s 5:15 a.m....Do You Know Where Your Notes Are?

Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Hong Kong

Cheung Man-Fung (Fung for short), the Assistant Manager of Marketing for the TDC and my contact the past couple of weeks regarding the presentation, told me late yesterday afternoon that there were able to drop the PDFs I supplied of my Keynote segment directly into the PowerPoint slides—no need to bring my laptop as originally planned.

That was all well and good until, at 5:15 a.m., my brain yanked me out of a deep slumber with the screaming realization that no laptop meant no notes. None. Nada. They were embedded in my presenter’s copy on my Mac.

There’s nothing quite like the sunrise in Hong Kong when your head is buried in a keyboard, frantically recreating your talking points.

Cocktails and Compatriots

Monday, April 28, 2008
Hong Kong

Next invitation-only gig of the day—the V.I.P. Cocktail Party at the Port Café, co-sponsored by the TDC. The same luminaries from this morning’s stage were there, along with a lot of cameras. My inner rock start is beginning to like this treatment. Sarah, Isaac, and I (shown above) gathered to compare notes, share a couple of cocktails, and plan where to have dinner. The end decision was Soho, which—in theory—should be easy to find.

We stuck around until 8:00, in hopes of seeing the nightly laser and light show Victoria Harbor is famous for. Turns out you can’t really get the full effect from inside the building—besides, it’s in the heart of the action, which would be better seen from across the bay in Kawloon. Looks like I’ll need to find a way over there this week.

Eventually—and with the aid of a local Brit—we were able to cab it to Soho, where we had a terrific Thai dinner. Afterward, we rode the top half of the Midlevel Escalators up the side of the mountain, through what I think of as “Yuppieville.” The escalators stretches a full half mile from end to end, with a 450-foot climb built in, connecting the Central business district with the upper residential areas popular with the upwardly mobile set. It’s weird to imagine an outdoor escalator that spans so much distance, but it’s actually pretty cool.

Jump on. Jump off. Grab a bite and a cocktail, then jump back on again. Who needs cab fare?

The Dragon Lounge

Monday, April 28, 2008
Hong Kong

The V.I.P. Dragon Lounge at the Convention Center—the one that puts all others to shame world wide--is a favorite hang out for most of us seeking a few minutes of quiet with a cup of Chinese tea and some black current biscuits (can you tell I’m hanging with a Brit?)...

...or some unsolicited, albeit helpful, advice from an American at the next table.

Note to Patti Stracher—David Oestreich says “Hello,” and has nothing but unending praise for you, both professionally and personally.

Note to George Kacik—I’m supposed to “remind you about Takara.” Care to fill in the blanks? He sure was laughing when he asked that I pass the message along.

You just never know who you’ll meet in “the Dragon.” Besides, those little black current cookies are really good.

And They're Off...!

Monday, April 28, 2008
Hong Kong

In this neck of the woods, they don’t just open a show; they Open A Show.

Members of the foreign press were invited to both the Tea Ceremony and Opening Ceremony this morning. Trust me when I say nothing is done on a small scale here; there was a bank of cameras and plethora of film crews in attendance, in addition to the relatively small number of guests invited to the soiree. It was Oscar-stage kind of stuff, complete with a galaxy of government and TDC dignitaries. By the time it concluded, there was no question this wasn’t going to be like any other show.

Dorothy, we are most definitely not in Kansas any more.

(Photo credit: Hong Kong Trade Development Council)

Hong Kong in Blue

Monday, April 28, 2008
Hong Kong

Okay. So I looked like a tourist. I am a tourist. But hey, when you’re standing on an escalator and your breath is taken away by the view out the window, you just have to stop, take a picture, and not care that you look like a typical gawker.

Obviously, I wasn’t the only one gawking. What a view.

And I get to see it about a dozen times every day, as I'm leaving the media center. Not a bad gig at all.

Welcome to the Big Leagues

Monday, April 28, 2008
Hong Kong

Well, here I am, on my first official day as a foreign journalist attending the Hong Kong Gifts and Premiums Show. Gotta tell you, the Convention Center is massive, wrapped in floor to ceiling windows that look out over Hong Kong’s Victory Harbor shoreline, in a building somewhat reminiscent of the Sydney Opera House. You’d have to be numb not to be impressed. It’s beautiful...and growing, since they’re still building out another section.

Started the day with a media briefing and introduction to our digs on site. Immediately, I’ve gravitated toward two fellow journalists—Sarah Reeve (Editor, Gift Focus Magazine, London) and Isaac Beylan Senties (Del Sol De Mexico, Mexico City). Turns out Isaac and I are the only two representing the Americas; if I wasn’t honored before, I sure as heck am now. This is one stellar group of individuals, and I for one am going to keep pinching myself until it sets in I'm one of them.

Might take a while.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

I'm still here....

I haven't forgotten you guys back home; my blogging has taken a back seat to long days and late nights since the gift show opened and my "official duties" began. I promise to get a bunch of updates on here as soon as possible so you don't have to wonder what's up.

Rest assured, this trip is a-ma-zing. Am beginning to bruise from all the pinch myself sessions. Wowser.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

The Stanley Market

Imagine a bowl of Asian noodles tossed on the pavement. That’s the layout of the skinny minny alleys that comprise the Stanley Market. This place is amazing, even if you’re not out to purchase. Found the exact same pashmina and silk shawls I picked up in New York a couple of months ago, 3 for $100 HK (ie, roughly $12 US). It’s a riot listening to the vendors talk about how theirs are “the real thing” even though the packing and labeling is identical on all of them.

The people watching is, by far, the best part. If you go someday, take the #40 shuttle bus from Central; the drive whips you around blind curves all the way along Repulse Bay. Don’t let the name fool you; this is big bucks real estate and the longest stretch of beach in Hong Kong.

P.S. to those taking bets on when I’d get lost for the first time: Whoever holds the ticket for the end of day one wins. Translated, never let a bus driver tell you that even though the stop doesn’t look familiar, it is. It wasn’t. Lucky I’m wired with a good internal compass and travelers’ gut instinct.

You say “tomato...”

Apparently “stationery” is open to interpretation. The selection of plastic balls shown here paled in comparison to the full selection inside...

...in spite of the “Printing matters” notation on the banner.

Lunch at the Pelican

Today started off on an odd foot. Woke up just before the alarm rang at 8:15, piddled around with the Hong Kong cell phone, took a shower, then tried to burn the hotel down.

Well, maybe that’s a bit dramatic.

The blow dryer—in spite of being plugged into a converter and adapter—decided to go into hyper-drive mode, crescendo at a high pitched whine, then begin glowing an angry red. Never mind the smell of smoke.

Yes, I’ll be borrowing one from the hotel now, thankyouverymuch.

Lunch was fish and chips at The Pickled Pelican, on the boardwalk next to the Stanley Market entrance. Picture this: Mexican beer, British food, and Van Halen pumping out of the sound system. My first conscious thought (coming from someone both sleep deprived and hungry) was “Why aren’t I eating someplace more typical of Hong Kong?” Then it hit me—this is typical Hong Kong, having been under British rule until the late ‘90s.

Fish and chips + street vendors selling beaded kimonos = complete sense. Welcome to the Island.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

First Impressions

Is it just me, or does everyone else think it’s weird the very first thing you see when exiting Immigration at the Hong Kong airport is Starbucks?

Step Two: Tokyo > Hong Kong

Flight time: Five hours, 15 minutes

Even though we landed late, and I still had to clear security to connect to my Hong Kong flight, what little of the Tokyo airport I saw (at a running blur to the gate) was beyond impressive. Everyone who works there is beautiful. And smiling. And friendly. And helpful. And the place is so clean you could eat off the floors.

Very cool.

Still on Northwest, and, ironically, on the exact same type of plane, in the exact same seat (hint: 35B on a Boeing 747-400 is the best in coach, period). This time, however, I’m in the minority; 95% of the flight is Asian—lovely, warm, friendly, and for the most part, English speaking (the crew is about 75/25, American, though). Instead of a big hulking linebacker type next to me, tonight’s seat mate a delightful, petite Asian woman who speaks fairly good English.

The moment this all got real for me, however, was during the dinner service. Our food came in bento boxes, which I’ve always thought were kind of cool. It didn’t hit me until half way through my sticky rice that everyone else (read: the locals) were picking up the boxes, then eating with them close to their mouths, just like on the Travel Channel. Also, only a rare few were using the western fork—the majority were opting for their knife—another thing seen on t.v. Thank goodness I’m adept at chopsticks (translated: I refuse to eat Chinese food without them).

What really made me smile, though, was the beverage service. One of the American attendants did the standard walk-through—”Coffee? Coffee, anyone?“

Then a moment later, was back again (so soon?), this time asking “Green tea? Green tea, anyone?”

We’re not in Kansas anymore. This is going to one amazing trip.

Step One: Minneapolis > Tokyo

Flight time: 12 hours, 10 minutes

Well, I’m on the road—or, more accurately, in the air—en route from Minneapolis to Hong Kong. My timing was great; last weather report I heard included the “s word” again, along with warnings for St. Cloud that the expected many inches of white stuff was going to be the heavy, wet kind, and that folks should expect downed power lines.

Get me the heck out of Dodge.

Lemme tell you, twelve hours is a long time. Managed to doze a bit for the first few hours, then again for an hour later on. By 5:00 Hong Kong time, I felt wide awake and “in sync” (which I know will be a mere memory by the same time tomorrow). Added bonus: One of my favorite Details customers (who shall remain nameless, in case NWA is reading and takes issue) was one of the World Business Class attendants. Even though I was seated in coach, she popped down to deliver bags full of “goodies” a couple of times, and told my attendants to give me anything I wanted. Talk about star treatment; it’s the first time I deplaned with more stuff than I boarded with.

Gotta love those little dopp kits (everything you could ever need, right down to an extra pair of socks a some slippers).

Thanks You-Know-Who-You-Are (grin). Very much appreciated.

Mom in My Pocket

I truly have the most thoughtful mother in the world.

Along with my birthday cards (which will be opened atop the Great Wall), she sent a little pink tissue-wrapped bundle. Very mysterious. So Friday morning, while we were on the phone prior to my departure, she tells me to open it, and that the contents are supposed to go along on the trip.

Inside the rose colored bundle is the little stone I gave her with a handpainted cross on one side, and “God is my Rock” on the other. It’s accompanied by one of her engraved calling cards, with a handwritten note on the back:

“I have carried and treasured this, and would like for you to take it with you to remind you that, though I won’t be with you physically, I will be there in thought and spirit. I love you, Mom”

I am blessed beyond measure.

The stone’s right next to my passport, and will be with me every step of the way, Mom.

And p.s.—I love you too. xoxoxo

Thursday, April 24, 2008

You’d think I was moving to the moon

Why does two weeks’ worth of stuff take up so much space in luggage?

Just spent the past three hours packing, unpacking, repacking, doubting, squeezing, re-repacking, questioning, assessing, and trying to figure out what the odds are I’ll really need first aid supplies and a dozen trail mix bars.

Of course, I’m not giving up the ten travel guides. And two cameras. And three-speed blow dryer.

There are limits, after all.

Monday, April 21, 2008

“Cinda’s Day at the Chinese Consulate” -or- “A Trip Down the Rabbit Hole”

(Both titles fit. You choose.)

The Hong Kong/Beijing trip came up so quickly that getting a Chinese visa meant one of two things: Either hand my passport to UPS or FedEx in hopes it wouldn’t be lost in transit (too late to replace) or fly to the nearest Chinese Consulate, ie, Chicago. I opted for the latter, resulting in one of the most bizarre days of my life....

4:00 a.m.
Well, actually 3:45 a.m., since I wake up before the alarm goes off. Into the shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, head to airport.

5:50 a.m.
Find great parking place at airport...and longest lines I’ve ever seen at security. Lots of camera crews around since NWA/Delta merger was announced overnight.

6:30 a.m.
Finally clear security, race to gate, get there as they’re boarding.

7:00 a.m.
In the air, all is well. I’m off to the Chinese Consulate!

8:30 a.m.
On the train, then the El. Spend the hour-long commute talking to Chris on the cell. Very nice start to the day.

9:20 a.m.
Arrive at Consulate, find only a few people in the waiting room ahead of me, pull number from little machine (think: DMV). Looks like I might be able to catch the 2:40 flight home. All is well...until I read the piece of paper taped to the front door. As of 9:00 a.m. this morning the requirements for application have changed. In addition to the documents listed on their website (as recently as Sunday evening), they now need copies of the airline and hotel confirmations. Not dates and numbers—actual document copies—which are safe and sound in the big travel folder in Minneapolis. Consulate attendant gives me their fax number for copies to be sent to—they have no internet access. I sit down and start dialing phone numbers.

9:30 a.m.
Call NWA. Get agent who says they can’t fax documents—only email. Get a second agent. Start begging. Pleading. Cajoling. He puts me on hold. Comes back. On hold. Back. Hold. Back. After fifteen minutes, has found a way to fax. NOW, I ask “Can you access the China Southern records for the connection from Hong Kong to Beijing?” since the two airlines are partners. “Oh...um...no, we can’t.” I plead. Another five minutes on hold. Back. Hold. Back. No clue how he pulled it off, but he did, and is faxing the entire itinerary to the consulate. WHEW.

10:09 a.m.
Look up to see my number has come and gone.

10:10 a.m.
Call Westin to get fax of hotel confirmation. Get tangled in four hundred layers of automated “Please push 2” menus. Am watching cell battery dwindle fast (an ongoing problem with my phone frying batteries). Worried I’ll lose the phone soon. Go to Plan B.

10:15 a.m.
Need to find someone in front of a computer with a nearby fax machine. Call Jenn at home. No answer. Call Greg at work. He answers, but is in a meeting. Transfer to Beth in the office, who gets online, goes to the Starwood site, and is ready to pull up my confirmation to fax....requiring the Starwood password, which is stored on the laptop at home. Won’t work. Back to calling Westin.

10:25 a.m.
Call Westin. Do the “Please push 2” dance. Get agent who says they can’t fax, only email (do we sense a theme here?). Am transferred to Corporate Services. He CAN fax. I grab a new number from the queue machine while we talk. Cell phone is now down to one bar of power after 15 minutes with Starwood.

10:40 a.m.
Can see the pace of things has changed dramatically in an hour and a half. The room is now jam packed, with only one window processing visa applications (at a snail’s pace). This will be a long haul. Settle in to watch news on muted waiting room television.

11:45 a.m.
Consulate attendant announces office will close at 12:00 for lunch. Told to hang onto our numbers, since they’ll resume at 1:00. On the way out the door to stretch my legs, ask attendant if 1:00 really means 1:00 since I’m only a couple of numbers away. Find out that it does...and that I still don’t have everything I need. NOW the price is $135, not $130. And I need to have a money order—not a credit or debit card. And same day service has been temporarily suspended (?!?!?!?!?!?!?). Will also need an overnight FedEx envelope for them to send the documents to me in time for my trip. Nearest post office is three blocks away, can offer both, which surprises me since USPS and FedEx are competitors.

12:00 noon
Race down the street to the post office...then realize this is the same post office that has 2-hours waits, according to the news watched in the waiting room. It’s April 15th. Tax day. Great.

12:05 p.m.
Bolt into packed post office, get in line with half of Chicago, and start praying. See small sales area nearby with stamps, decorative wrap, etc. Jump in there, find out I can get what I need, and take a breath...until I find out they don’t accept credit cards for money orders. Try my debit card next. It declines. Twice (using a pin instead of running it like a charge card does that). Dig out nearly all the cash in my wallet, pay for $135 money order and USPS overnight envelope (no, they don’t sell FedEx). Run back to consulate, via McDonald’s, another three blocks in the opposite direction.

1:00 p.m.
Number calling resumes.

1:15 p.m.
I’m up at the window, all my faxes and documents in hand. At last. Hope.

1:16 p.m.
The processor behind the window says all documents are in order. Breathing now....

1:17 p.m.
...until he informs me they’re keeping my passport. I explain the whole reason I flew to Chicago to do this was to avoid the risk of a carrier losing the passport so close to my departure date. They need to hang onto the passport. I need to hang onto the passport. Tears well in my eyes (seriously). He slips into back room. Comes back. We negotiate. Back to the back room. Back to me. More negotiating. He asks what time today’s flight departs, then suddenly slides the money order and mailer back to me, quietly tells me to sit down and that he’ll make it work. Not sure what that means, but am willing to wait.

2:00 p.m.
Since (a) the office is going to close in 30 minutes, (b) I need to leave for Midway in 15 minutes, and (c) the line at the pickup window stretches the entire length of the room, figure I better jump in. They don’t call names; people just show up, get in line, and get their passports/visas. Odd, but I get the impression this is going to be my new “normal” for a few weeks.

2:25 p.m.
Still in the pickup line, which has stalled, now that I’m third from the window. In the course of conversation with two men in front of me, they learn I’ve been here all day, and am probably going to miss the 4:40 flight . They offer their positions in line. I get to the window, and am told by a pretty Chinese girl “Not ready. Must wait. One hour.” I crumple back into my seat.

2:30 p.m.
They lock the consulate door, thirty of us still waiting to be processed inside. Nice Asian woman next to me comments “This is really inefficient, but not as bad as what you’ll see in China.”

2:40 p.m.
Call NWA (while praying the cell battery holds out). Agent checks to see how many seats are available in my fare class (huh—new twist). Can put me on standby for 6:13 flight. Phone starts doing “the death chime.” I shut it down. Nice Asian woman offers me her cell phone, if I need to make more calls.

3:30 p.m.
Back in line at the pickup window. Finally reach the window. It’s ready! I hand her the $135 money order...and she tells me that NOW the price is $160. Seriously. I dig everything out of my wallet—a whopping $22 and change. That’s it. That’s all. They don’t accept plastic or personal checks, so this is bad news. I’m short by THREE DOLLARS. She goes to get the nice man who slid my application in under the radar. I offer to let him empty my purse as proof I really have no more money. Ask if they’ll accept a traveler’s check (the $50 emergency one I keep in my wallet is still there). No. They don’t. BUT...if I make it out to him personally, he’s got $50 in cash. Wham, bam, thankyouma’am, and we’re done. I race out the door before something else pops up or costs more.

3:50 p.m.
On the street, headed to the EL. Go to Starbuck’s for a potty run and coffee. Back to the EL. Ask the CTA agent on the platform if this absolutely positively is the correct train to get to Midway. “Yup.” “Are you sure, because I’ve had a heck of a day.” Yup. This is it, ma’am.” I get on the train, turn on the iPod, and settle in...

4:05 p.m.
...until I realize we’re going in a circle. I’m not on the orange line to Midway. I’m on the pink Loop line, circling downtown Chicago. Two nice people explain I need to get off at the next stop, move to the opposite platform, take the inbound pink line back into the loop, get off at the first stop, then transfer to the orange line. Got it.

4:25 p.m.
Finally, the pink inbound train arrives...after three outbound have come and gone. I’m cutting this close for the 6:13 flight, especially since I also need to go to ticketing to have a new boarding pass issued. Get on the train, make the transfer, get on the orange. On my way. Decide to try the phone one last time. Send two text messages—one to Jenn, one to Greg, to cover my bases—”Plz call folks. Cell dead. Missed flight. On stdby.” Hit send. Watch little envelope graphic flutter into little mailbox graphic. Phone dies immediately after “Message Sent” screen. Kapput.

5:20 p.m.
Race to ticketing counter. Check to see how many seats are available in my fare class (this is still really weird). Pay fee. Get seat. Race to security (where they weren’t asking anyone for boarding passes???). Hear multiple announcements about cancelled flights. Hear various people talking about air traffic control issues. Hmm.

5:40 p.m.
At the gate, breathless. No plane. More announcements about additional flight cancellations, which seem to be predominantly in the south. Again, hmm.

6:20 p.m.
At last, plane arrives. We board. Sit on the tarmac forever. Finally take off...1/3 of the seats empty. Not a single middle seat had a person in it. With 44 empty seats, not sure why my fare class really mattered.

8:50 p.m.
HOME at last, with my passport and visa. Whew.

The moral(s) of the story?

1. That in spite of all the insane changes, continually growing charges, extraordinary misinformation, and endless you’ve-got-to-be-kidding moments, people were really nice. Not one had an attitude or was rude. The woman at the pickup window was stereotypically abrupt (a Chinese trait), but people generally wanted to help me out, and offered such with a sincerity.

2. Never assume the Chinese consulate has a handle on things. Always take twice as much money as they say you need, plan on twice as much time as expected, and take twice as many Advil as the label suggests.

Peace out.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Off to the other side of the world

For those of you who don’t know (which is a surprisingly large number, given how hunkered down I’ve been with numerous projects and road trips lately) I’m headed to Hong Kong on Friday. Long story, short: the HK Trade Development Council contacted the magazine I write for, who then contacted me, with an invitation to speak during the Hong Kong Gifts and Premiums Fair about marketing trends in the U.S. gift industry.

Yes, I’m just a tad bit excited.

After a week in Hong Kong (only half of which will be work related), I’ll jet to Beijing for several more days of exploring...and to stand atop the Great Wall on my 48th birthday. Decided to throw in a few stockpiled Starwood points and upgrade to a Renewal Room at the Beijing Westin, where, according to the hotel “a fresh orchid and personal bathologist await to tailor your bath ritual from four regions around the globe; India, Orient, Mediterranean and Arabia to restore your inner calm.”

My inner calm is very much looking forward to this trip.

The laptop will be in tow, with the intention of continuing to post from both cities. While Hong Kong doesn’t concern me, I’m not sure what to expect in Beijing; the mainland is rather passionate about internet censorship. It doesn’t seem like something that should factor in, but my current experience with China is pretty much limited to dinner at First Wok or Leann Chin, so who knows.

The big issue right now is how I’m gonna fit two weeks’ worth of work attire and casual attire into a single suitcase.

We won’t even discuss the fact China Southern limits each passenger to one carry-on. Yikes.

Guess It’s Time....

For over a year now, more people than I care to admit have been not-so-subtly "suggesting" that I get a blog going. Yeah, yeah, yeah, me and everybody else. Whatever.

Don't get me wrong--I love blogs. You see, there are a few I inhale on a daily basis, most of which automatically populate the tabs of my browser upon launch: tuaw.com and fakesteve.blogspot.com (no shock to my fellow Mac junkies); creativebits.com (to feed the right side of my brain); 43folders.com and lifehacker.com (yup, more techie stuff); plus davidgagne.net (not the same one I had a crush on last year). The latter of the bunch slowed quite a bit once he got engaged—the web David, not the Minnesota David—but every so often, he'll drop in a gem.

While heading home from a board meeting in Phoenix, something occurred to me--with the exception of Fake Steve (who was eventually "outed" as a writer for Forbes), every one of these bloggers are regular Joe Schmoes who found a way to connect with like-minded folks out there in the real world...which is basically what I promote through RetailSpeaks (see link in the column to the right).

So. Here I am. Blogging. Connecting. Doing whatever it is bloggers do.

As for where this all goes, God only knows. Some days, the tone will be purely professional, while others might drift a bit more...um...off the cuff. Either way, I'll write about things I see/think/feel/question that might, somehow, pertain to retail. Or not. Granted, a few entries might be kind of out there, but thinking inside the box has never been my strong suit.

With a little luck, this foray into the blogosphere will accomplish three things: give you a lift now and then...give me a lift now and then...

...and get all those poking elbows out of my rib cage.

Be careful what you wish for.